The title of this post is exactly what I said to my friend Colleen when we were in sight of the orange cones at the finish line last night when we completed our 5K together. But let’s rewind shall we…..
On New Year’s eve my husband and I have a tradition. We create our goals for the year, write them down and then share them over a nice meal at home, just the two of us. I will share in a future post my complete belief in writing goals down. It has been a magical year thus far. Anyways, one of my goals was “Sign up for a 5K and complete it. Just do it.” And the seed was planted.
Fast forward a few months and some weight loss later I start thinking I can do this. I am witnessing my husband train for a marathon and it’s quite inspiring. So I decide I’m going to start this running thing. Its a slow start. My heart rate won’t stay down, I struggle and walk more than I run. Then I start improving. I ask my dear friend Colleen if maybe she will run with me seeing since our hubby’s are running partners and we are on the same running path. She agrees. Now I have a witness. Shit, what have I gotten myself into.
I will admit, I waited a long time to sign up. I was scared. You can relive why I’m scared of 5K’s here. After I wrote that post a dear friend of mine posted a comment on my Facebook wall. She said “What is causing the fear? What are you telling yourself?” THAT got me thinking. Just like every other human being on the planet I am very negative in my head. But it hits a peak with anything related to athletics. I am not an athlete. I never was. I wasn’t picked last in gym class, but I also wasn’t picked first. I tried hard but wasn’t great. I was a dancer, not a sports player. Therefore, my whole life in my head I have never been confident when it comes to sports and fitness and at the age of 34 it was no different. Think about it- what have you told yourself in your head? How do you berate your actions? We do a serious disservice to ourselves.
So it’s 5K night. I’m hot. It’s a little unorganized. I’m trying to focus and but not be too focused. The gun goes off early by 5 minutes. Um, what? And we are off. Colleen and I had agreed we would stick it out together and we were in it to finish it. I didn’t care what my time was, I just wanted to do my best. And this 5K is the Girls on the Run event where kids have trained and they run a 5K with their runner coaches. It was great to run next to these young ladies and their amazing coaches. (and some really harsh parenting as well. Berate your kids much? Wowzer. I even found it demoralizing and I’m an adult. Ease up parents, ease up.)
My heartrate is high. Colleen’s talking to me, I’ve got this razor focus as I”m trying to breathe and keep running. I wanted to run for as much of it as I could. That was my personal internal goal. We did great. It had some tough spots. There is a hill in Delaware Park that doesn’t seem to want to end. We walked a bit at the top of that puppy. Getting towards the end I didn’t have alot of gas left in the tank. I was dragging. I wanted to walk but Colleen kept on going so I didn’t say anything and I”m glad I didn’t. At one point as we rounded the bend to finish I had to tell myself out loud to “dig”. A couple times. And I did. It worked
As I saw the cones I said those three words to Col and we passed the finish line together. My friends Kellie, Kara and Kerry were there cheering us in. I almost cried but then didn’t. I was just proud. Something I never thought I could do, I did and I enjoyed it. You think you can’t accomplish something but you can. It all lies within us. I honestly believe that.
And on my bulletin board in my office hangs my number. 192. I wrote the date and time finished on the back so I wouldn’t forget. I know there will be more. I look forward to them actually. I will need them as I move on to the next goal of reaching my goal weight by the end of the year.
So ask yourself this today, what lies within you that you can uncover? What will it take to bring it out? Believe it, be it.
I conquered a fear this week and you can too.